As I have been a mother to my children,
I’ve been mothering myself.
As they grow and change and change again,
I’m changing shape as well.
There have been times that I’ve resisted,
That I’ve fought against the flow.
There were times that I could not hang on,
Times that I could not let go…
Through all of this exploring,
And the challenges and growth,
I’ve felt I was missing something
To help with keeping me afloat.
As I have found my inner child
And all the fears she keeps
I’ve done my best to tend to her
Healing whatever I could reach.
But even making space for her,
And trying to bridge that gap
Left me feeling a little stuck,
Like I was still holding something back.
And I guess that the time must have been right,
Maybe I could not have done it before,
But something has clicked into place
And now I see what I’ve been yearning for.
It is well and good to help that child
Living deep inside of me,
But to my surprise I’ve found, instead,
It is she who is saving me!
For as I became an adult,
And as I had my own kids too,
I left behind something important,
That’s kept me from living my truth.
All the striving to comfort and soothe myself,
And to be the best parent I can,
I had forgotten how to play! Have fun!
To be wild, full of wonder, joy in hand!
Now I see the secret ingredient here
To the mix that I’ve struggled to brew
I need to remember to do what I love
And to love what I have to do, too.
All the roles that I play these days,
All the different aspects I can be,
They all jumble together in a beautiful mess
When I remember to be wild, and playful and me.