laundry

To Bend or Break: a Pause

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Greetings to you strange friends and friendly strangers! I took a bit of a break from my decluttering extravaganza. I spent some days catching up on other things that needed my attention and tried to include myself in that!

I feel like I have been through a bit of a whirlwind. Time is passing quickly. I still sometimes feel like I have so far to go, so much to do, but I can see more tangibly now what I have accomplished in even a short time lately, and that feels so good.

We’ve been working on establishing a bona fide bedtime routine, and we’re not quite at the sleep time I would most appreciate, but it is so much better than it was and still seems to be shifting earlier, ever so slowly. Without much strain I guess, now that the kids are usually asleep before I get too burnt out.

There are times when I decide something is really important and I just put all of my energy into it, even when it doesn’t come naturally or when it seems like a big effort. I just give it everything I have and try to make it happen. Go through the motions and strain myself to get as close to the mark as I can. And when I’m doing that and I experience any set back, any delay or any complication, it feels so awful.

And I’ve had some nights lately where I sat in the dark for over an hour waiting for a child to stop squirming and fall asleep. Nights when I didn’t want to read any stories by the time we started. Nights where I didn’t want to nurse at all, but tried to offer it as long as I could possibly stand to buy an easier transition into sleep, to be able to walk away a little sooner. Nights where I was hoping to catch up on the dishes, on my studies, on some quiet project or another after the kids were asleep, but found myself so exhausted by that time that I couldn’t do anything meaningful at all.

It’s part of that perpetual cycle I find myself in, always feeling like I am catching up or making up for something, never quite finished. Wanting to focus on one thing at a time, but feeling unable to prioritize. Because when I am going through clothes to donate, the dishes pile up. When I’m cleaning up the kitchen, toys and books are getting dumped out. When I’m cleaning up the play areas, a wall somewhere is getting colored on. When I’m working away at something stained or broken, the kids get too hungry and start fighting. When I’m making lunch, they want my attention. When they have my attention, the laundry piles up.

And there is this dance to it all, sometimes I’m paying attention to what is right in front of me and I take the right steps, things fall into place as well as they can and things are taken care of in time.

But sometimes, often really, the scope of it all is so overwhelming that I try to force things at the wrong time, or just can’t get moving on anything at all.

Management of our entire household is so full of details and nuances. I’ve been thinking a lot about the mental load of it lately. All that invisible work of noticing, analyzing, organizing, preparing, delegating. And there is so much to keep track of.

I haven’t felt particularly talented when it comes to rhythm and structure and getting chores done. I seem to have a lot of trouble finding the right way to schedule things for myself so there is time for everything. And I’ve largely been making up for this deficit I feel by focusing more and more on simplifying our lives. Trying to have less things, less demands so it is easier to get to the bottoms of every pile.

But the funny thing about simplifying, that is a task, too. That can be a chore. That can be a whole category of chores. A new set of tasks to check off, projects to manage.

This time around, as I’m decluttering I have noticed more regular tasks falling to the wayside and a bit of mess piling up. But it hasn’t been as bad as I might have feared. I do feel now that I am starting to see some actual space cleared, some actual relief of needless tension, and the feeling of being a little closer to being caught up with myself.

In taking a few days here to get some other cleaning done, I’m actually starting to feel happy and content about my house, my life again.

And with a trip planned this weekend, I’m not sure how fast I’ll get through the rest of the decluttering challenges. But I’ve made a big push and I can see that we are moving! I should be able to keep this all up over this next month as things slow down a bit for us again.

I do have another area half done to post soon upon completion! But I don’t feel like I need to pressure myself to push, push, push until all those rocks are over the mountain anymore. I have a lot more faith now that we can take care of everything in time! And that is such a relief.

I hope you are all well and feeling capable and comfortable out there! At least some of the time!

Decluttering Challenge #2: Kids Room!

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Onto the next room! This one was a lot less work than I thought it might be. Again I skipped the cleaning stuff for now, just to focus on getting things organized and tidy.

Here is what I focused on in the kids room:

– Rounding up misc. things under the bed and in the junk bed drawers and putting them in their place.

– Properly organize the dress up stuff.

– Toss (or take aside to fix) ripped or broken things.

– Go through clothes to take out things that don’t fit or aren’t worn and organize what is left.

– Organize toys and games in the closet, purge if necessary, and see if there are any books to be donated.

Here’s a shot of the closet before, this was my main focus:

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Decluttering Challenge #1: the Bedroom!

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For this challenge, instead of trying to hit targets of certain numbers of things per area, I want to look at whole rooms and dig really deep into problem areas.

I decided to start with the bedroom. As I said in my last post, before I began I made a list of tasks that needed to be done for each room.

So for reference, here are the things I focused on in my bedroom:

– organize and properly store clothes “for later” as my room had become a storage area for clothes that don’t fit my pregnant self, outgrown kids clothes to save for each younger sibling, and some piles of things needing to be donated that haven’t been yet

– find places for or donate all the extra junk in the closet, including going through some random boxes of things, some of which really did not need to be there

Most of this was centered around my closet and a nearby shelf, both of which had become a big mess of random projects and things that I did not know where else to put.

One of my rules I am holding myself to through this challenge is for everything I take out of one place to either find a place where it belongs somewhere else, or to leave our house entirely. I’m trying to get rid of wandering things that don’t really have any place to go, making space for things that are really important and letting go of things that are not.

So while I moved things that did not belong in the bedroom out, I tried to put them away in their exact places, or at least bring them to the closets or rooms where they will stay, likely finding their permanent spot as I get to those other rooms later.

Now, without further delay, here is my bedroom “before”…

Laundry that is never quite put away, kids toys taken or stashed away, bunches of clothes and random bags and pieces of decorative items or things needing repair or half finished projects. Quite a bit here.

So I started with the clothes. Saphira (age 4.5) helped me quite a bit with this part while her sister napped.

I went though a laundry basket overflowing with things I had taken from the kids dressers as I noticed they didn’t fit, a basket of kids shoes that I had set aside from our porch recently for the same reason, a bag of baby/toddler clothes I was set to purge before I got pregnant again, piles of things I had pulled off our hangers that Drew wanted to purge and that I could not wear while pregnant or in the summer, and whatever else was laying around.

I used a couple different totes, filled one up with clothes of Saphira’s to put away for Trinity for later.

I refilled the laundry basket with clothes that Trinity might be able to use now and put them in her room to go through when we tackle their stuff.

I filled the other tote with my clothes for when I am back to my pre-pregnancy shape,  and with some formal things we just don’t use often.

I filled a small box with clothes we can keep for the baby, which I put back up in the closet for going through further as we gather more of what we need for this next little one.

I finished trying on some maternity pants I got from a friend, hung up what I wanted and put the rest in to the donate bag.

At the end I had two garbage bags full of clothes to just take to the thrift store, and two totes of kids clothes and shoes and our own extra stuff that can be stored in the garage.

With the clothes out of the way I was able to get to the rest of what was on the shelves more easily.

Saphira helped me take out and put away all the kids toys and books that were around.

I made some space for a couple of kids items that I will be trying to get rid of that I need out of their sight.

I took down some decorative things for us to either make room for or add to the donate pile.

I out our extra bags and purses back in the storage bench where they live with my jewelry making supplies.

I bagged up my Waldorf doll pieces and pattern and put it on my shelf where I will actually see it and finish it, hopefully.

I organized mine and Drew’s special books and projects on our own shelves without all the extra stuff around it.

I put the basket of candles and the memorabilia boxes tidy on the higher shelves, after having tucked little cards and drawings and papers of special interest each in their appropriate box.

That is basically it. I may or may not take my box of notebooks and sketchbooks and things to the garage, I kind of like having it on hand lately.

I put the cushion back in the cat bed and set it up on the closet so Link has a place to chill out in there again.

I brought my breast pump and a box of clothespins to the hall closet to be established in there when I get to that part.

I ended up with a very small bag of garbage and a few things besides clothes that we can give away or sell.

So,  I got things put back in a tidied manner and set aside everything that can be taken out.

Here’s the after shots:

So, it’s actually not quite as clear and spacious as I was hoping. Apparently there are still a lot of “things” I think I need, but everything is organized and some long overdue donations will be made, and there is some empty space now if gifts or whatever need a place to be stashed!

I decided to leave the cleaning and regular stuff out of this, so I did not finish putting away my clean laundry or make my bed yet. But I feel like that will be so much easier now! And that means this room was indeed finished in a day, it seemed like a lofty project so I’m proud of that.

I would love to see and hear your own progress if you are following along with your own declutter! If you feel so inclined,  please leave a comment here or an update or a photo on my Facebook page!

I aim to have the next challenge post out within the next couple days, so keep an eye out!